For Better or Worse
I lie in bed awake, staring at the ceiling. Unwilling to put forth the effort of crying. Unable to silence my mind towards sleep. Legs extended before me, I run my right hand towards my hairline, pressing my palm into the top of my forehead. I bring my left hand to my face as … Read more
Living Old While Being Young
As my feet carried me around the corner, towards that familiar final quarter, so my thoughts had carried me. This realization came between “Stronger” and “Some Nights, so I was probably pounding a little harder, running a little faster. I was thinking. I was remembering that in fact, years ago, I felt as … Read more
Thoughts: Monday, July 2
This morning, I realized that I was grasping. I was holding on so tightly to nothing. I have nothing, and I still wouldn’t let it go. I shouldn’t say nothing. I have so much more than so many. But compared to what I had – I have nothing. On the surface, I’ve … Read more
Wildflowers
Last summer, you were away. I listened to Tom Petty a lot then. I spent a lot of time alone, listening to Tom Petty then. I like a lot of his songs. Obviously, “Free Fallin’” is a tried and true standard. But “Wildflowers” – I found that I loved “Wildflowers.” Petty feels like summer. … Read more
Thoughts: Tuesday, June 12
I wouldn’t change the past. The past has shaped me and allowed me to become the person I am today. In life, it’s imperative to keep moving forward. I am certain that I don’t want to get left behind. Still, a part of me wishes that I could have stayed where … Read more
Personal Files: Brief Notes – Perfectionism
I could have become bitter, but I chose not to. I had been bitter before, and it did nothing for me. Instead, I chose to embrace life. Consciously, I did things I knew Joe would want me to do. “Live a little, love a lot.” Joe was always encouraging me to be more … Read more
On March
Even when I’m sad – and devastated – there’s a part of me that remains hopeful. There’s the part of me that whispers, “God is still good. He will still take care of you, Janie.” Without that hope, all would be lost. I would have nothing. I have to believe that it’s also dangerous … Read more
