• life is a mixed bag, but so is my heart

    musings & the like, by Janie Sikes
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Bursts. Bursts of energy. Bursts of light. Bursts.   Jonathan and I are experiencing a burst. Perhaps it was the twelve hours or so of sleep that we both got within the past twenty-four hours. Perhaps it was a general disgust over a day or two of apparent apathy. Or, better yet, perhaps it was … Continue reading

For Better or Worse

  I lie in bed awake, staring at the ceiling. Unwilling to put forth the effort of crying. Unable to silence my mind towards sleep. Legs extended before me, I run my right hand towards my hairline, pressing my palm into the top of my forehead. I bring my left hand to my face as … Continue reading

Source: bartramgallery.org

The Jetty

  “Can we go home now,” she asks. “No, let’s at least go to the jetty.”   The jetty. The jetty, the jetty, the jetty. The jetty. We’ll go to the jetty.   They turn around. They re-route towards home. Towards a beach home. I stay. I remember.   The jetty. I walk beyond the … Continue reading

Source: tumblr.com

Living Old While Being Young

  As my feet carried me around the corner, towards that familiar final quarter, so my thoughts had carried me. This realization came between “Stronger” and “Some Nights, so I was probably pounding a little harder, running a little faster.   I was thinking. I was remembering that in fact, years ago, I felt as … Continue reading

Thoughts: Monday, July 2

  This morning, I realized that I was grasping. I was holding on so tightly to nothing. I have nothing, and I still wouldn’t let it go.   I shouldn’t say nothing. I have so much more than so many. But compared to what I had – I have nothing.   On the surface, I’ve … Continue reading

Source: Personal Files - Joe Feeley


Last summer, you were away. I listened to Tom Petty a lot then. I spent a lot of time alone, listening to Tom Petty then. I like a lot of his songs. Obviously, “Free Fallin’” is a tried and true standard. But “Wildflowers” – I found that I loved “Wildflowers.”   Petty feels like summer. … Continue reading

Thoughts: Tuesday, June 12

  I wouldn’t change the past.   The past has shaped me and allowed me to become the person I am today. In life, it’s imperative to keep moving forward.   I am certain that I don’t want to get left behind.   Still, a part of me wishes that I could have stayed where … Continue reading

Source: Personal FIles - Joe Feeley

Long Live

Going about my life, a song reminds me of you. I don’t knew if you ever knew this, and I can’t ask you now. You know that I was in the car alone a lot during my junior year. In the car, I used to think. I thought a lot, as always. My thoughts weren’t … Continue reading

Personal Files: Brief Notes – Perfectionism

  I could have become bitter, but I chose not to. I had been bitter before, and it did nothing for me.   Instead, I chose to embrace life. Consciously, I did things I knew Joe would want me to do. “Live a little, love a lot.” Joe was always encouraging me to be more … Continue reading


  It’s not good.   I’m working so hard to forget. I don’t know what to think or how to think, and I think I’m starting to lose it.   At least when I’m going out or not eating or sleeping I have control again. I choose to drink. I need other things to think … Continue reading