Tonight, Tonight

In a raw and quite limited sense, my goals for this summer were simple –

1. Have fun.
2. Make money.

Granted, I had other less egocentric things in mind, too, but those were two of the big ones and, quite frankly, not all bad in my opinion, either. Sometimes, I think it really is okay to be just a little bit selfish, besides the fact that I am a college kid afterall, and summertime is a prime time for rolling in dough. What I mean to say is this – one of my goals for this summer, as those in the past, was to take up the responsible and quite reasonable pursuit of working more than I do during the semester, with the express purpose of saving the bulk of that money. That was the goal, anyway.

I’ll admit that the first month of summer was tough; my faith in goal number two was quickly failing. I waitress, and hours were limited, food costs went up, and our central air’s ability to keep our guests cool faltered. This was not the summer to make money.

I fretted and stewed initially, but eventually came to grips with the fact that my life’s worth should not be gauged by my bank account anyway. So here I am, nearing the end of August, with enough. That’s right – enough. The number in my savings account may not be what I wanted, but it’s enough – for books, for food, for whatever I may actually need. It’s enough and there’s nothing I can do about it anyway, so I’m content. Well, trying to be. And despite the 638 pages of Fall Fashion that InStyle is tempting me with, I think I can keep managing to be content. This summer, I did make money, and I made enough.

On the surface, my other goal floundered, too – yes, it was finally summer, but I wasn’t having too much fun. You see, Joe Feeley is my fun buddy. (That’s right – I said fun buddy.) Since last summer was filled with treatments, we were really going to make this summer count. But then Joe finished chemo (again) and went to Puerto Rico. And then West Palm Beach. And in the midst of his travels we caught up for a week here and there, but in the end he was there and I was here.

 

So I left. Finally, after a month and a half of being in a summer funk, I just left. Don’t get me wrong – I was persuaded, but in the end I chose. I gave proper notice, made plans, and left.

And I had fun. My kind of fun.

I spent time with my sister.
I met new people.
I went cool places.
I ate good food and I had good drinks. I bought cute shoes and I organized things. I spent time with great people and made new friends. I walked and ran and read and wrote and talked and shopped and cleaned and helped. And that’s what I love. Those are the things that make me tick. Constructive productivity – doing what I love – makes me happy. Really, really happy.

 

And when that was over, I went on vacation.

And we got stuck in traffic. Bad traffic. Out of the nowhere, can’t go anywhere, traffic.

In the rain. In our separate cars.

In isolation. In a sea of other people trying to get where they were going, too.

And I started going crazy.

I tend to get places quickly. I walk pretty fast, and I drive strategically. If I am actively trying to get somewhere, I would like to get from point A to point B in a timely fashion, and I would like for anyone not under the same persuasion to kindly move. Please and thank you, and rest assured that I do respect you as a person still. In any event, traffic is really not my thing, especially in solitude.

 

So I decided to jam out. That’s right – jam out.

Maybe it’s lame, but I chose “Tonight, Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae. Maybe it’s over-played and maybe I’ll be completely sick of it within a month, but for right now it makes me happy. Really happy.

If you want to know the truth, I imagine myself rollerblading to it. I have since I first heard it, and I still think it would be the perfect song to dance around the rink to. Yes, I am a child of the ‘90s, and this song is one of my current anthems.

Clearly, it is totally appropriate that I would do my jam moves, to this song, while stuck in bumper-to-bumper, “this kind of sucks,” “get me there already,” “I’d like to go more than 10 miles per hour for 15 seconds,” “STOP” traffic.

And since I was desperately trying to get my mind off said traffic while simultaneously altering my melancholy state, I also determined to learn the song’s lyrics. (Easier said than done when merely listening to the song, I tell you!)

 

Jamming, singing, shouting, dancing my way down 158 East, I proclaimed

We’re goin’ at it tonight, tonight
There’s a party on the rooftop
Top of the world, tonight, tonight
And we’re dancin’ on the edge of the Hollywood sign

I don’t know if I’ll make it
But watch how good I’ll fake it
It’s all right, all right, tonight, tonight

And later, with mounting exaltation,

It’s you and me and we’re runnin’ this town
And it’s me and you and we’re shakin’ the ground
And ain’t nobody gonna tell us to go
‘Cause this is our show

 

Eventually, we crawled over the Albemarle Sound, gratefully encountered thinning traffic, and ravenously devoured our collation at Wendy’s. It stopped raining, and we had a wonderful week in the Outer Banks. We stayed in the same house right on the water, we patronized Cavalier Surf Shop, we browsed thrift and vintage stores, we read novels in our beach chairs, and we took walks to the Nags Head Pier. We admired Jennette’s construction, considered revisiting the Wright Memorial, and scrap-booked through Project Runway. We spent evenings playing marbles and conversing with extended family. We played miniature golf at our usual, delightfully tacky stop and slurped hazelnut Java Chillers at Sonic. We drank delicious Starbucks coffee throughout the day, snacked on reduced-fat Vienna Fingers in the afternoon, and supped on large dinners at night.

Yes, this is vacation. This is love. This is fun.

After the funk, the disappointments, and set-backs, I met my goals this summer. It wasn’t what I had planned on, but it worked. I enjoyed it. And the song may not be truly riveting, but it too works for me right now.

There’s a whole big future ahead of me. I don’t know if I’ll make it, but I do know that I’ll go with a smile all the way.

 
 
 
 
 
 

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Comments
2 Responses to “Tonight, Tonight”
  1. Nice blog, girl. You are very readable. I think I’d think that even if you weren’t my wonderful child.

  2. Amy Sikes says:

    dear sister!! I love reading your work…. you should definitely write or blog consistently and if you want to adventure down to Charlottesville, I would absolutely LOVE to have you. xoxo

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