Personal Files: Brief Notes – Perfectionism

 

I could have become bitter, but I chose not to.
I had been bitter before, and it did nothing for me.

 

Instead, I chose to embrace life.
Consciously, I did things I knew Joe would want me to do. “Live a little, love a lot.” Joe was always encouraging me to be more carefree. I was always too preoccupied with planning.
 
I later learned that my planning was related to my need to control, and my need to control was related to my fear of failure. And my fear of failure was related to my aversion to grief. Were I to fail, in any various way, I would not succeed. I struggled with perfectionism.

 

When I let go of my need to be perfect, I grew in my self compassion.
I accepted vulnerability, and my weakness made me stronger.
I became more whole. I felt happy.
I chose to see the beauty in the world, and not get bogged down by little trials and inconveniences.
I am learning to be grateful for all the little wonderful things – the details that make life memorable – without getting hung up on the inconsequential nuisances.

 

See the good. Always, always choose to see the good. Be vulnerable. Be courageous. Embrace life.

 

Penned: May 14, 2012. Shared: August 30, 2012.

 

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