Thoughts: Tuesday, June 12

 

I wouldn’t change the past.
 
The past has shaped me and allowed me to become the person I am today.
In life, it’s imperative to keep moving forward.
 
I am certain that I don’t want to get left behind.

 

Still, a part of me wishes that I could have stayed where I was a bit longer, in the place where I was usually quite happy, though nothing I did was normal.

 
Instead, it’s this, which feels a lot like moving backwards.
 
It sounds unskillful and feels weak.
And to compensate? I can’t see myself wanting to stay in one place very long. But maybe that, too, can become a good thing.

 

If I could have, I would have stayed in that first week of May, before I fell apart.

 

Instead, it’s this.
 
It’s a different kind of tired and a different form of running.
It’s remembering how I was and hating who I’ve been impersonating.
 
It’s trying to forget everything.
 
It’s wanting to be better than I’ve been lately.
It’s knowing it can all change when my view of it does.

 

Penned: June 12, 2012. Shared: August 28, 2012.

 

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